Aliens Underwrite Programming on WNMU-FM

A r t i c l e  b y  E t a n  S h o r t z

MARQUETTE, MI -- WNMU began their "Friendraiser 2000" on February 1st, the second part of their yearly attempt to stay afloat.

   People who pledge during this event will be offered various items such as artwork by Bill Hamilton and Nita Engle and the very popular mugs by potter David Austin.

   What Public Radio telephone volunteers didn't expect, was to recieve a pledge that was out of this world.

   "We knew that the station had a wide variety of listeners, but we weren't expecting this!" said Will Doit, phone volunteer.

   "Like, it was so totally cool," said Freshman Sally Yllas, an English Major and phone volunteer. "Like, we knew that Mr. Simon, like he's our boss and stuff, like knew lots of people. But like, we never knew he knew people who weren't like, people."

   Mxlplk could not be reached for comment, but station manager Bob Simon said that Mxlplk and his family have been long time fans of Public Radio.

   "This is the first time they've actually made a pledge," said Simon. "They've listened to Public Radio 90 for many years, because of the quality of our programming, but were unable to help us because of a lack of American currency."

   The pledge is said to be roughly $49,542.31. Combining that with other pledges, the goal of $55,000 has been reached and the Friendraiser can be officially declared a success.

   No assumptions have been made about the reason for the amount of the pledge.

   Some administration officials have questioned the validity of this pledge, and even whether Mxlplk was real or "a figment of some bleeding liberal's imagination".

   "They've been whining about not getting enough attention from the University for years," said a source who requested to remain anonamous. "They're probably just making this whole thing up."

   "Are not." responded Simon.